It has been many months now, and I have delivered my website that contains all my knowledge and wisdom of the journey to the world, up until the 12th and final harbor on the River.  I spoke of what I understood the 12th harbor to be, but until now I haven’t told you of what I am experiencing.

After I delivered my website, a constant dilemma kept aching at me in my head.  The dilemma was posed as a question.  The question was if I should travel with my website back into the real world and evangelize to the world what I have come to know or should I let go of all that I delivered and go on to live on earth as it is in [the third] heaven.  If I went forward, I would have to let go of (no longer be aware or conscious of) the world.

Remember that the three heavens in the Kingdom is analogous to the psychoanalytical conscious (1st Heaven), personal unconscious or subconscious (2nd Heaven), and collective unconscious or just unconscious (3rd Heaven).  The conscious is being mentally aware of the world, a.k.a. ego, childish, and mental intelligence and the least mature of the heavens.  The personal unconscious being emotionally aware of the world, a.k.a., adolescent self (small s) and emotional intelligence, that included going through one’s fears and phobias and more mature than the 1st Heaven.  And the collective unconscious being unaware of the world, a.k.a., the adult Self (capital S) and spiritual intelligence and the most mature heaven.  This third heaven is the heaven of what people dream of because it includes being free (letting go) and finding peace (heaven-on-earth).

But I could not truly understand how someone can be unconscious and conscious at the same time.  You can’t even be in two places at one time when living in the real world (2nd Heaven) in the tug-o-war of adolescence between adhering to rules of people you idolize in the 1st Heaven and the spirit in you in the 3rd Heaven.  But yet that dilemma.  Should I become the orator or evangelist for the world to realize by staying with my delivered website or let go and live in peace.  One seemed so selfish and the other so selfless.

I said to God, “I can’t make the call.  For now on, if I don’t hear you voice, I won’t do anything.”  But the dilemma stayed in my mind.  “Oh, the suffering people under the control of the egotistical, narcissistic of the world,” I said.  “They need to know.”  But how tired I was of the now 20 year journey.  I’d given all of myself to God day in and day out, on and on, for 20 years.  And I had finally made it to the final decision, the final 6th Harbor of Decide, to perform my final act in what is to be the final 7th Harbor of Act.  And I said to God, “I just don’t know what to do.”  And God then said to me, “I will not be disappointed in whichever path you choose.  There will be no punishment for choosing one over the other.  There will be no shame in choosing one over the other.  Whatever happens now will happen now.  And if it doesn’t happen now, it will eventually come to happen.  What you know, nearly no one knows but that is now.  There will be a time when that will no longer be so.  So choose, and you will see.”

And then I realized that I just had to be honest with my spirit whom I am married.  “What do I want?  What do I really, really, really, just want?,” I asked myself.  And I told God, “I don’t want to go back.  I am so tired.  I just want to die in peace.  You can decide when I die, but just from here on out, please just let me die in peace.”  And I began dying in my mind, and I was gaining peace because I had made up my mind to die from the world’s heavens.  This death would be my final act.  And I just allowed myself to die knowing in all absoluteness that I would be absolute peace with God now or some time in my life, even it was to be 30 or 40 years from now.  And my decision to die, my act of dying God accepted.  And I just continued to die.  I was going to die one day from here on out.

That dilemma would be my final dilemma that I had to go through in my final 7th Harbor of Act.  I could no longer live with all the anxiety I had lived with all my life.  I was absolutely tired, worn out.  Just let me die.  And just like God said, his acceptance of my choice to die and act of letting go made no difference to being delivered back into the world.  I was absolutely honest, and that was what mattered.

And so God’s acceptance came on me in the 8th Harbor of Accept.  And I continue to die.  And then came the wisdom from my thankfulness to God in this 9th Harbor of Devote.  And that wisdom was, “The churches are dead.  The world is dead.  And I am dead.  They are no more.”  And what I understood this meant was that the churches and the world will never accept Jesus’ death in full.  Jesus’ death will never become an absolute and unconditional death.  Grace will never be an absolute and unconditional grace in the minds of the churches and those in the world.  There will always be at least a hint of “I’m not worthy enough to receive God in all His glory”, a.k.a. shame or guilt for Jesus’ death on us.  The “I gave you something, and you don’t have to give anything back” just seems to the churches and the world wrong.  But that is exactly what has happened.  It is only our own egos that say to fully accept it is wrong, and that is exactly why our egos must die.  And the death of my ego is what God meant when he said “I am dead.”  In other words, I have absolutely accepted God’s word of Unconditional Love and Unconditional Acceptance as Truth.

This means that being conscious of God’s grace and Jesus’ death is a waste of my life’s freedom and peace.  Never were we supposed to think long and hard or really anytime at all about the grace God gave us through Jesus’ death.  Jesus had to be delivered to save humanity.  But I and nobody else ever would have to do the same.  Nobody can save anyone else but the spirit of Jesus Christ.  And because I was honest with myself and my spirit, I was rewarded with being dead.

For now on and ever more, all anyone has to do as a parent or leader is say to a child the following:

“There is a spirit of unconditional love that lives in the world and in each of us.  This spirit is given to us by God.  All you have to do is love others that way you are loved by Him.  As long as you continue to see inside others and yourself in the way you and they think and the way you and they feel, you are golden.  And so you are you and I am I and I love you so very much.”

And then let them be.  As one and two year old knows nothing of grace and only of the love you as a parent give it, should it remain that way forever more.  This is why Jesus said one must be as a child to reside with God.

And so then do not bog your children down with the death of Jesus and grace as the world tries to do and the churches try to do.  If all we know is that above, then we live in the unconsciousness (unawareness) of grace, which is how it should always be.  And so the church is dead and the world is dead because, without their attentions to grace, there would be no church and no world as you see it today.  Instead, there would only be peace.  And because the first heaven contains mental intelligence without emotional intelligence (a.k.a., ego and narcissism) and the second heaven contains unconditional love and acceptance, there is no longer a need for hell (the land before the entrance to the Kingdom of God) or the first heaven that contains those with only ego.  Thus, in accordance with Revelation, the first heaven and hell will have disappeared and Heaven-on-Earth will come.

And so then to sum it up, follow not any church or any worldly figure or person as if they are God; for they are dead and so too are you.  Follow not any letters (books or writings) of the Law (Unconditional Love) as if they are God; for then you too are dead.  Follow only the spirit of the Law that lives in you; for this is what Jesus meant when he said those who live (by or with their ego) must die and those (egos) who die will live.  So then die to the grace of the world by accepting one another unconditionally (automatically) and live only in the spirit of love in the world and in you by loving one another unconditionally as well; for this is how one can live consciously and unconsciously all at the same time.